December 25,2027

Christmas is a time full of love and happiness. Life's just full of cliches isn't it? When you were younger, Christmas was always about gifts(no matter what any kid said) and then as you got older it became a time for family(no matter how much you hated them). But as the snow swirls down outside and the icicles shatter and fall on the back of those broken men standing outside my window I begin to dream... I beg them to go away and leave me alone until I realize that I am out there with them looking into this fantasy land of hopes and dreams. All bullshit. I or maybe the man that I have become, had hopes that the world would change eventually; the me that is outside sees differently. He can feel the biting wind and the crunch of snow beneath his feet and realizes that the version of me inside, is a fool. He can see him scribbling at that collection of memories and he laughs. It's not a happy laugh. It's a harsh, cruel laugh. It bites at the man inside; he can feel it's scorn and derision tearing away at him. And he looks at the man outside and sees a realist. The man takes look at his dreams and one by one shatters them all. He laughs and yells against the wind: "You think that the world will change?Come on man, think!The people will never revolt. They are too smart too. They realise that it's pointless. It's a battle that they can't win. No one will listen to a man in a prisoncamp hell they won't even find out about you because you will never have existed. Once your time is up, the government (for lack of a better word) will erase your identity. Robert O'Farrell father of Duncan O'Farrell; and husband of Kate O'Farrell will be gone. Siimple as that. Heartbreaking isn't it?" And he laughed again at the foolishness and naivety of the man inside.  The man inside weeps at his own foolishness.

The outside man's face changes and he morphs into the face of a guard. And the entire scene changes and I'm tied up and being beaten by the guard. He screams the rules of society at me while the blood flows freely down my back. I'm cold. So cold. Then I'm lying naked in my old flat. I can still feel the blood flowing down my back and I'm shivering (whether in fear or out of coldness I can't tell). As I wander from room to room I enter the den. The fire is burning in the hearth and there are people sitting in armchairs around it. My wife,my son, and my parents are all there. They all appear to be sobbing and can barely stand to look at me. My parents are the first to acknowledge my presence."Why did you fail us Robert?Why?"My mother asks while my father just stares into the fire.
My wife speaks up next:"Robert what did I ever do to deserve a husband like you?In my hour of need you left me. Why Robert,why?
My son is sitting there as I remember him, a tiny infant. But he opens his mouth and a disgusting sound comes out, the voice of a grown man."Dad, didn't you love me enough to go after me?To protect me?Was I not worth your love?Why Dad?Why?" And they crowd around me.
"Why?"The voice of my parents.
"Why?"The voice of my wife.
"Why?"The voice of my son.
"WHY?"Altogether now.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"I scream"Please, forgive me. Oh please."And the tears become my blood and it flows down my face mixing with the dirt on the floor of the flat.

The flat slowly melts away into the forest outside the camp. I'm working with the rest of the men to chop down the trees when all of a I start to run. I know it's useless but I just keep going. The retort of a rifle sounds and I collapse to the dirt while a guard comes and stands over me."Goodbye Robert"he whispers. I know his face but I can't link a name to his face."Please, just let me go.Let me go, you bastard!"And then I'm up fighting him, punching him, trying desperately to squeeze my hands around his neck. I can feel his hands circling my neck. I can't breathe. And as I choke, I look up into his eyes and see the eyes of the KP officer who arrested me. Nothing but an unending blackness. Nothing.

Robert jerked awake up."Oh god my head."He moans.As he stumbles out of bed his bunkmate turns to him. "All right there Robert?" The face, the face of the man who shot him. There it is in bold definition."You bastard..."